Hello!! Merry Christmas!

Hi guys... never been online for a while. Well, I'm back in Singapore, for like three months already lol. Today's Christmas! Merry Christmas guys(: Starting school in like a week, going to TKGS. :D I miss Idaho, and all my friends and classes, but all good things come to an end, but hopefully I'll experiencing it in the near future, for example, College. I miss Grant, Ian and Dom. Those three boys who held the most impressions on me. Ian still loves me though, idk about Grant. Sometimes I just wanna hear his opinion the most. What was I and am to him? A friend or a suitable girlfriend? We tried, God knows we did, but he wasn't into it. I guess maybe we're just friends. Acquaintances at the least, but he shouldn't have led me on after we broke up still. He patted my head, teased me...it's really hard to imagine that there was nothing going on. But here's this: it's pretty sad when everything you want in life is maybe. Maybe he'll text me back, maybe he'll talk to me, maybe he likes me but maybe he's to scared to show it. But the thing is, maybe doesn't come true. Because no one says maybe I love you. Maybe I should just move on, but he took something from me, and I'm not complete, to say the least. Maybe I like him more than I should've ever liked a guy. He holds my heart in his hands. No matter how hard I try to forget about him with Ian, and I feel bad about doing this to Ian, I care about him, but my thoughts always seem to go back to Grant. Maybe I'll see him again someday and we can sort out what happened then. It might be years from now, maybe a bump in the streets in New York City, or even on a vacation somewhere in Europe, I hope to finally hear his opinion, because people lie on the internet, and you aren't even hearing the true sincerity in their voice. Grant's a good guy, but he has his cons as well as his pros too. He can be selfish, a cocky asshole and a jerk. But he can be helpful, loyal, a good buddy, encouragous and brave. He's handsome too btw(; please, don't you trust my taste in guys? lol a skateboarder, and his strength is in his maths. Hopefully he's be successful next time. Maths can lead you to good jobs(: